November 30, 2023

Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce: that means you are equally as likely to end up living happily ever after with the love of your life that you are to end up with a faint tan line on your ring finger reminding you of what once was, all while enduring the pain of updating your Facebook relationship status to “single” with a never-ending flow of pity fueled comments. So, do you take the leap? The obvious answer for me is no, and it should be for you too.

The issue with love is the simple fact that it just doesn’t exist; there is no set definition of love or rules to follow. No person will ever buy and restore a house for you, in hopes that you will one day return to them confessing their never-dying love. Of course, if they do, you won’t return or you won’t reciprocate the feelings. Do you think you’re going to fall in love with your no-strings-attached weekly hook-up and get your happily ever after there? You won’t, at least if you do, once again the feelings won’t be reciprocated, so you can forget that. It’s all these movies and books about love that make us have such a strong desire to find it.

The issue, of course, is that people confuse the idea of love with infatuation. Infatuation is forever fleeting, it isn’t long lasting, its length differs from person to person and this is where the “heartbreak” comes from. One person in the relationship will decide before the other that they are over whatever it is they had, and just like that the relationship is over. There is no saving it because you can’t force those kinds of feelings. If love truly existed there wouldn’t be heartbreak and there wouldn’t be endings; it would endure all that comes because it would be everlasting.

Some may answer my claims with the idea that as an individual, I just haven’t found the right person to love. Let me tell you how wrong that is – I’ve had two legitimate “adult” relationships – one lasting almost four years and one lasting less than six months. The thing is, despite the difference in duration and experiences between the two, they both ended the same. I no longer speak to either of them, in fact if I were to see one on my walk to class, they would more than likely look the other way and pretend they hadn’t seen me. Both claimed to have loved me, both complimented me and highlighted my best qualities, we laughed and had some good times. However, the simple act of me breaking up with them, for my own happiness, destroyed every aspect of a relationship we ever had.

Now, you may call me jaded or tell me that those were “boys” and I haven’t met a “man.” Maybe you’d tell me that I have a skewed perception because the relationships are still fresh in my memory or that maybe I was in the wrong and I am the causation of my problems. But, my friends, while you’re waiting for a significant other that does everything a movie character would or sweeps you off your feet like the character from a country song, I’m going to be enjoying life without searching for my “other half.”

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