I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. Not only is it a reminder that I am not in a relationship, but I also think it’s stupid that one day a year is supposed to be the day to express the feelings you have for your special someone. It’s over-dramatized and just plain excessive.
Let me outline you a stereotypical Valentine’s holiday. Along the way, I’ll tell you how stupid each step is and the problems it creates in our selfish society.
The day before
It’s coming. Reservations are being made by the dozens, as are roses and flower arrangements to be sent to offices, homes and other places partners dwell. It’s a nice sentiment to be sent something that’s just going to die and wilt in a few days.
If you send out a Valentine’s Day card to that cute guy at your office you’ve been crushing hard on, there’s a 50% chance you won’t get one in return. But, if you’re single, there’s even a higher chance of you getting a card from either your mother or your dentist reminding you to set an appointment for a cleaning, of course written with some V-Day-related humor.
Girls, you better start figuring out what to wear now, because you know you don’t want to be late for that dinner reservation and get those fine a** breadsticks from Olive Garden (because right now, that’s all you can afford). Getting dolled up and cute is great, especially if you need to boost self-esteem. But for a holiday packed with hundreds of other couples just like you racing to get to restaurants or popular date locations around your hometown? Best to stay at home, avoid the chaos of making fashion decisions, get rid of those G-strings that ride up your crack all evening and just enjoy each other’s company in front of the TV with a pizza and drinks. Now, doesn’t that sound just as nice as going to a noisy restaurant where your meal gets interrupted with a proposal every 15 minutes?
No. it sounds 100 times better.
The day of
If you decided to join the bandwagon of wasting buckets of cash on fancy food that probably could be found in a different restaurant or grocery store at half the price, you’re at the salon getting your hair and nails done (not to mention toying with the pandemic every step of the way). Have fun giving that to your significant other instead of the gift you actually are shopping for.
Naturally, every store that has even a small connection to the holiday displays the colors that taunt those that are single: red, pink and white. Lingerie sale at Victoria’s Secret? Macy’s Valentine’s Day sale: half off on your cozy sweaters, men’s dress shirts, perfumes and skimpy dresses? Everywhere, plastic hearts stick to the windows, hang from the ceiling in spinning cyclones of insanity and cover the checkout lady’s shirt at the grocery store.
What is most annoying at this point is the whole entire concept of buying a 10-dollar box of chocolates, tying a bow around it at home after removing the price tag and then playing them off as more expensive and flashier than they actually are. To be blunt, you’re lying to the person you supposedly love the most. That’s just asking for a breakup. If you are going to dive headfirst into the whole Valentine’s Day scheme, you might as well drop that serious dough on something worthwhile.
Quit it with the cheap moves and go simple.
Meghan Nadzam (’22)
Guys might not expect much gift-wise, but they will expect a little action later in the evening because they’re guys. That being said, stay the f*** away from the dollar store. If you truly cared about the person you’re seeing, you wouldn’t get them plastic balloons in the shape of hearts, an impractical teddy bear and His & Her mugs that will chip or peel so easily that even you will feel bad about spending five dollars on them. Quit it with the cheap moves and go simple. And by simple, don’t go for a promise ring, because that’s incredibly tacky and overplayed. Try a weekly, fresh flower subscription with a local florist or a Netflix Premium subscription. Find something you both might enjoy!
The biggest problems with the whole Valentine’s Day sham are the expectations for women. If you are well into a relationship, girls may want a proposal, to move in with their partner or some other symbol of commitment. We want the romance, to be swept off our feet and to fall hopelessly and completely in love. Again, the solution here is to go simple. She may appreciate your thought into something sweet and quirky, or she might break up with you because she’s a gold digger. No offence to any gold diggers out there– it just irks me to think someone will go to great lengths to exploit their significant other’s money and not be thankful they have a decent person in their lives.
This night is also spent by single people who sit at home feeling sorry for themselves, eating chocolates they bought themselves, drinking a bottle (or two) of red wine and watching “Dirty Dancing” (or whatever other movie that makes you swoon and cry).
It’s okay to feel alone (heck, that’s how I am most of the time), but using a holiday as an excuse to feel terrible? Come on, have a small shrivel of pride. Eat some candy hearts and do something that makes you smile.
All in all…
I have a lot of beef with Valentine’s Day, and it’s not just because of the commercialism and the drama it exudes. It makes me sick that so many companies are making money off of people’s misery and broken relationships. I mean, what would actually I do with a stuffed dog holding a heart? Use it as an emotional support animal that doesn’t give me cuddles or kisses?
Plus, proposing on Valentine’s Day is just dumb and unoriginal. Have some creativity in asking your favorite person to spend the rest of their life with you! Don’t leave it up to the holiday that used to be celebrated at Pagan fertility festivals by sacrificing animals and smacking women with animal hides. Don’t do that, either.
Every day should be a celebration of love if you are in a relationship because each day is a privilege. Each day should be treasured, but not in some showboating way. It should be shown in the little things, the small acts of kindness, and not drawn out into ginormous extravaganzas.
So from now on, I’m going to choose to focus on the positives of Valentine’s Day: namely, being able to get discounts on those delicious candy hearts a week after the holiday ends.
They’re only sold once a year, and that’s complete bulls***.
