January 29, 2023

After completing the most incredible summer in North Carolina, I returned to Springfield with high hopes of having a pleasant senior fall semester. Little did I know that before a week would go by, I would be wishing I wasn’t so busy.

It’s not that being busy is a bad thing. I tend to be more fixated, organized and better at time management when I am busier, and all of those are good things. I did miss Wittenberg a little bit, specifically seeing my close friends and family.

Living in the Kappa Delta house makes me feel closer to my sisters, all of whom I had been so distant from during the spring and summer. Sitting back in the Torch office and in the Writing Center brings back memories of good times and bad, all of which I will remember for a long time. Feeding the critters in the marine lab always brings me joy because it reminds me of my path in marine science and of my time at Duke.

All those things are wonderful, but I can’t help it when returning to Wittenberg also comes with the stresses and the frustrations I had hoped to avoid. Being a senior comes with its challenges. Whether that’s a Capstone course, a senior thesis, an executive position in a club here and there; it doesn’t matter what it is. It will always pull me away from the things that I find wonderful about Wittenberg. I’ve come to see that there is distinct division in my life at Wittenberg between what is work and what is love.

There are times that parts of work appear to be what I love, but when a problem pops out from behind the corner and scares the sh*t out of me, that warm, fuzzy feeling fades away and the senior-itis kicks in. Three years ago, I thought that senior year was going to be a breeze because I would have everything figured out: classes, my job, the senior thesis and what I was going to be doing after graduation. It turns out that reality is much harsher, and I’ve got to tell you, when that concept hit me, weight piled on in immense quantities onto my chest.

It’s all coming for me so fast that it’s a blur. I can’t stop, identify it or even organize my schedule enough to make time for it. I have to be ready 24/7, and I’m not sure I’ve got the stamina. Here’s to a long four months.

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